Adjusting to this Adjustment called: LIFE
By: Antwa’nae Briars, Masters level Intern- Lewis Univsersity
My past year has had a theme. I believe my biggest theme for this year has been adjusting to every task I have been challenged with. The funny thing is that we’re close to the end of this year, and I still have not adjusted to 2019! My space still needs cleaning, I’m behind on my latest shows (just finished Game of Thrones by the way!), and sleep does not seem like it actually exists. Seriously, what does sleep mean? Still, I know that this is okay and is something that took me a long time to accept.
Knowing the difference between what I could and could not control have been another challenge. People tell us every day that we have control over our lives. However, the part that they leave out is that we cannot control the events that happen in our life. I am a being who believes that everything in life is purposeful, and that we’re not just here to snap a picture of our food or lip-synch for ten seconds for social media. We’re also here to alert one another when winter is coming (I’m sorry, GOT is still a fav, despite its ending). But with all honesty, adjusting to the new adjustments in my life have been an eye opener for me in different ways. It’s taught me how to become more resilient and to accept the things I know that I cannot control, which is hard but very possible.
Counselors need counselors too. I’m not sure who said we didn’t! I don’t think that I would have been able to function without one. I know the feeling to want to cancel appointments as a client or looking over my shoulder to see who’s watching me in the waiting room. The stigma of counseling is real, but I continue to strive to fight against it. It can be difficult to try and manage life on your own. It is helpful to have an unbiased view in your life.
Statistically, individuals that incorporate counseling in their life have healthier patterns because they are aware of a need to learn and change. I’ve seen others in my life struggle to adjust with the loss of a loved one or job. Classmates in my master’s program, at Lewis University, may struggle with time management, financial stress and relationships. There are always adjustments happening in family systems as well. Perhaps, a family member is adjusting to a sober life or getting over a traumatic incident. Adjustments, big or small, can affect individuals but it is what you do to acknowledge and combat them that matters.
Over my year of adjusting I have learned to ask myself some key questions to make adjusting easier. Here are some questions to consider when you feel you are struggling to adjust:
- What do I expect from myself?
- What do I believe others expect from me?
- What are my limitations/restrictions?
- What do I value most and how am I sticking to those values when organizing my day?
- What message do I tell myself when things do not go as planned?
Though I cannot say I have adjusted to this year (even in this month of December), I can proudly say that I have accepted the things attached to it. And as I make my way into the new year, I leave behind being unsure of the things I cannot control and accepting what my purpose is to life. So, cheers to the new year and being okay with not just adjusting!!!
“Grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change, COURAGE to change the things I can, and WISDOM to know the difference”.
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